The Naked Lady Guy

Today, two tweenage skaters, in bike helmets, were buzzing around me. One of their mom's appeared. She pointed me out and went "Hey look! It's the naked lady guy!"

It took me a second to realize what she was talking about, and then I went "That's right."

And she replied "Wow!"

She walked over to observe me while I was working on my sloppiest, runniest endeavor, thus far. I was fitting myself into a neatly masked spot on a massive banner for the RND crew. She asked if I was with RND and I told her "No, this isn't mine. I bomb on other people's murals but I do it in a way that's not a crude 'X' right through it."

"Oh!" she smiles, "So you take someone's art and you improve upon it."

"Yes!" I lied.

She's got the right idea. It is my intention to take something cool and make it dope. Had she caught me last week I could have said with confidence "I made this shit look dope."

But she had caught me in the middle of a half-ass'd plan to merely get back up on a wall where, the day before, I had blatantly dissed a legitimate graffer with my first mural(ette). And that mural(ette) had been bombed by RND within 12 hours of me putting it up.

Had I been sighted (as the naked lady guy) while putting up that mural(ette) it would have made my week.

What could be done with 8.7Billion

8.7 billion dollars has gone unaccounted for in Iraq.

I did some research and based on First Solar's financials we could have done the following.

Spent half of it on education/training for

14,601 workers

And built 31 solar panel factories yielding 100 megawatts of panel per year.

By year 7 we'd have 39 factories with enough profit to finance 11 new factories.

year 9: 50 factories finance 14 new

year 11: 64 factories finance 18 new

year 13: 82 factories finance 23 New

year 15: 105 factories finance 30 new

year 17: 135 factories producing $5.4b profit

year 21: recouped initial investment with (US cut of) 2.7b profits each year. 63585 jobs created in Iraq.

Over 25 years it's less than a 4% APY, but it would curb the insurgency, create infrastructure for jobs and education, reduce the 25% poverty rate, keep Iraq in the energy production game, AND we'd get our money back.

This Takes me Back

I'd consider the double rainbow video to be fairly lame on the long list of viral media. This next video is also pretty lame but I can't get enough of it.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Celebrity Influence

Wow, I some how managed to miss Michael Jackson's Earth Song, back in the day.

But my girlfriend caught me up on it and now I'm sorta pissed off.

I'm suddenly, again, outraged that Oprah is retiring.

I can't say that this oil spill hasn't gotten a lot of media attention, but does anyone feel like there's something not happening which used to happen with shit like this?

Does anyone feel like "more should be done," but you can't place your finger on it?

That's because Michael Jackson used to have our backs and he'd sound the alarm and there'd be a huge production and shit would get -or at least feel- better.

What do we have instead? Kevin fucking Costner!

Oprah! You can't just take your money and turn your backs on us.

Rules of the Marion Manor of Iowa

1. No more chances.
2. No snotty, self-absorbed, - do as [you] damn well please - attitudes.
3. No slobbery (in part, or in total).
4. No rights.
5. No minding of business of which is not your own.
6. No further transgressions.
7. No snotty outbursts.
8. No sneaking out.
9. No staying out past 11:00pm on work nights.
10. No tromping up the stairs.
11. No leaving the lights on.
12. No cooking nor phone calls into the late hours of the night.
13. No AWOL's.
14. No bathroom messes.
15. No hiding messes behind closed doors.
16. No smoking (and no evidence there of).
17. No dirty Dishes.
18. No kitchen messes.
19. No misplacing of household items.

Idea for the Gulf Coast Oil Spill

People with names like Kenneth Montana belong to commissions dealing with tourism around the Gulf Coast. They're shitting their pants right now because the Deep Horizon Oil Spill is going to decimate the tourism sector in that region.

Someone should tell someone to tell something like FEMA to raise an army of volunteers across the nation, fund their transport, set up some tents and have a huge beach party/ relief effort where patriots and burners can go make and spend a little money in these twilight tourist communities.

Put me in charge and I'll work out the details, but for the time being, here's what I've whipped up.









We pay Mexico between $74 and $84 per barrel of crude.

Each volunteer should get paid $70 (tax free) for each salvaged barrel of crude, and BP should cut the checks. They have to clean it up anyway, and if the shit is out their too long, it'll end up worthless, so we might as well get to work scooping it up.

I know that scooping oil into a barrel might only yield $140 a day, but I'm sure that after 2 days, the weekend ruff necks will be improvising better, faster methods of filling those barrels. Plus, free FEMA accommodations and $140 a day is way better than being hella unemployed. Think of it as fishing only every time you cast, you catch something.

Seriously though, why not?

This picture is losing it's momentum.

Picture Review

If having to settle for a pulled pork sandwich isn't a big enough disappointment when you're eating out, Red Hook Brewery will double your disappointment when you actually get to see what you're spending $11 on.




This fucker is reading while driving.




Me looking thinner than usual in my late 20's.





This is a Japanese ring featuring a massive pearl.




This is how much a candy bar is supposed to cost.




This is me at my heaviest, around age 20.




This was once "the swimming hole."




This is a board game for Lord of the Rings.




This is litter left on a hiking trail by some prick who eats organic produce.