tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27660893141252581902024-03-12T16:27:09.017-07:00Broke NosePelirojo Peligrosoes138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-90729945036114919892011-05-10T17:47:00.000-07:002011-05-14T14:04:34.833-07:00Going on Blast<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So... it's my birthday, and once again I've put a ton of hours into making something for you to love. (See how you can thank me at the bottom of this post.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Earlier in the year I met a girl from the internet. She was hyper conservative and uncomfortable around black people. </div><div><br /></div><div>She forgot that she gave me her blog address, and consequently had no idea I was reading the shit she was posting about me. </div><div><br /></div><div>Had her blogs been better written - (far) more accurate - accounts of what happened, the posts probably would not have been that interesting. </div><div><br /></div><div>Fortunately, shitty people exist!</div><div><br /></div><div>So, I have made dramatic readings of her posts.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a href="http://youtu.be/c952smQejxw" base="" target="_blank">Dramatic Reading of a Dating Blog Vol. 1</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W78h8ppXrXY&feature=youtu.be#t=01m29s" base="" target="_blank">Dramatic Reading of a Dating Blog Vol. 2</a><br /><br /><a href="http://youtu.be/Q1MLEtUGFgs" base="" target="_blank">Dramatic Reading of a Dating Blog Vol. 3</a><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div>This girl seems to be pretty optimistic that one day her blog will turn into a best selling paper back. My fantasy is that some network intern will find these videos and fly me out as a surprise guest on some morning-show where we'll give a tandem interview, promoting her book. Then later that night, in a hotel near 30Rock, she and I will bury the hatchet over cocktails in the lounge. And, if RomCom's have taught me anything, it's that we'll end up in her room, where I will make love to her... Begrudgingly! </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">So! For my bday, please pick a side and leave a comment on her blog.</span></div><div><br /></div><a href="http://macleigh.blogspot.com/" base="" target="_blank">macleigh.blogspot.com</a><div><br /></div><div>Reposting this would be the shit too.</div>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-37026935450695837592011-03-21T01:34:00.001-07:002011-03-21T02:09:46.832-07:00My Crappy Week<div style="text-align: center;">Click images to enlarge.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYHIgq1_2bax8GnooEdvWWxBfP-0x0LQ51REqI0mV7ZPQ_R2EO8rJHAz4t507rnvwLIInt8a1nVYR6jV4WnEKt6q3wAZh2ed9s0dRQRQ4D8b139Ujt8DI7sAk-AFcLIO5Pg9EPyJoqJg/s1600/sunday.bmp"></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDMPnbAujhfewlHy5DCPs2o5thZfSQTSRBTo3WKRNC_MlINGOU6aVV7_-hiuO6ebH5lLxAB61skChowu2hZ7-9olN0ebTw2AoQ7yYZtRZy5l0jbrQgF8hhCZDmUHGF-ok0qBcR40pGvw/s1600/Tuesday.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 316px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDMPnbAujhfewlHy5DCPs2o5thZfSQTSRBTo3WKRNC_MlINGOU6aVV7_-hiuO6ebH5lLxAB61skChowu2hZ7-9olN0ebTw2AoQ7yYZtRZy5l0jbrQgF8hhCZDmUHGF-ok0qBcR40pGvw/s400/Tuesday.bmp" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586449511688049682" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga-y_XoDJH4AGVgbfq0Kw9xqJiJ2wDhG1lI2_EjcWE3FhxXXsxSf3Z_dASz9i6fJnwN-h5Oao2KAh3FOPVDKF2shso_NY-k3fx-hxAcOiOLCafpRc2kspcLPZcj1FqSDKr0g72UG5ASQ/s1600/wednesday.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 316px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga-y_XoDJH4AGVgbfq0Kw9xqJiJ2wDhG1lI2_EjcWE3FhxXXsxSf3Z_dASz9i6fJnwN-h5Oao2KAh3FOPVDKF2shso_NY-k3fx-hxAcOiOLCafpRc2kspcLPZcj1FqSDKr0g72UG5ASQ/s400/wednesday.bmp" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586449505710308690" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNwgepSPnKAs1UuL0dx_LPpQvfxCwG5bEd03EfBTJR1yMaxblp26hdQt-_KWNnLSwk9RfavXgB5OEkKF9HOHTOfP1915jh5u2I5jXLHOVossLk6ExAs9ECeoUsAZqY9-nlGLNfN6iUcA/s1600/friday.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 316px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNwgepSPnKAs1UuL0dx_LPpQvfxCwG5bEd03EfBTJR1yMaxblp26hdQt-_KWNnLSwk9RfavXgB5OEkKF9HOHTOfP1915jh5u2I5jXLHOVossLk6ExAs9ECeoUsAZqY9-nlGLNfN6iUcA/s400/friday.bmp" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586449503091793650" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ2wLHFOMhKxsXKE4GdRfHFoKp8SklVvNeqZDWRNnbBH7vT4ZaCYiAZMyC2qi3GtlvC2Ai2rXCC7HMZL9H8ci2FZJ3kfQmEFefkTXzu7YnOdf_3AoTh45DIQe_MzDVNB7aBjaGGxOdfw/s1600/Saturday.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 316px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ2wLHFOMhKxsXKE4GdRfHFoKp8SklVvNeqZDWRNnbBH7vT4ZaCYiAZMyC2qi3GtlvC2Ai2rXCC7HMZL9H8ci2FZJ3kfQmEFefkTXzu7YnOdf_3AoTh45DIQe_MzDVNB7aBjaGGxOdfw/s400/Saturday.bmp" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586449495596039106" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYHIgq1_2bax8GnooEdvWWxBfP-0x0LQ51REqI0mV7ZPQ_R2EO8rJHAz4t507rnvwLIInt8a1nVYR6jV4WnEKt6q3wAZh2ed9s0dRQRQ4D8b139Ujt8DI7sAk-AFcLIO5Pg9EPyJoqJg/s400/sunday.bmp" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586453504641028226" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 316px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC2HMcxh4NnDAxqaDBJNnTwpIK_UF-TZMovQrIhiehy6ALBLHTvTGqURz1nvHViNIr3kSl_y2Co9xVXTm6ErbzUA1xLpukjtCExddDuDNPcDa9YiArUA_n-38bMVxAqJDQbj34gCVjwg/s1600/sunday.bmp"></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/8585/mfwtf.gif" />es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-30590426888424829062011-03-18T23:15:00.000-07:002011-03-21T02:24:44.492-07:00Pics from my phone.<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I have a crappy phone. Remember when you had a crappy phone and you used to have to clear your sms memory every few days? </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">This is me pretty much cleaning out the pictures.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">A 200 pound face made of pure white chocolate.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrcWWXtdIVtzAP8WpJI8zk9P-kw1bUcuRHkaImMvqLy539cDLalNKRT6xaXM6oZ_jbij4cb30YKDByoOi2-EYC3ktT9-QrOlYDGc9nX-0A3Gfc3uDP4e5GWK7KnVVxVH_xf7_UIOgC-w/s1600/Photo-0391.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrcWWXtdIVtzAP8WpJI8zk9P-kw1bUcuRHkaImMvqLy539cDLalNKRT6xaXM6oZ_jbij4cb30YKDByoOi2-EYC3ktT9-QrOlYDGc9nX-0A3Gfc3uDP4e5GWK7KnVVxVH_xf7_UIOgC-w/s320/Photo-0391.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585673295389321698" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: center;">A close friend's Epic Driver's Lic.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIN2fxEP3TX8nJKBqclWfhfMfHpWJsVuMzzaToC2j1oYPIRbhfNzqSpRfbtZMTWjKt5A3Wch4TNGAyhOOf3aTLAFVKRwHkvP3U9YAYPI6sa9onuQKesM4K47VzUGEDgzl9XsTtZKuWQA/s1600/Photo-0441.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIN2fxEP3TX8nJKBqclWfhfMfHpWJsVuMzzaToC2j1oYPIRbhfNzqSpRfbtZMTWjKt5A3Wch4TNGAyhOOf3aTLAFVKRwHkvP3U9YAYPI6sa9onuQKesM4K47VzUGEDgzl9XsTtZKuWQA/s320/Photo-0441.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585673292022817298" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Raging party with the Bunns: Rush and tackle in the coi pond</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuu22EkFWBS0AMO9gBFd7UoUqjH7jsH5y3RcpzVUW_lJeVyUDXDElLHWxXWFN12CWn8yQd9C-UlnA8i0ncEOhQPTmNYTfZvyaV4lsPYL0eouPuamxJbtXHgI8t3XnjDmymojNg_WvrlQ/s1600/Photo-0685.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuu22EkFWBS0AMO9gBFd7UoUqjH7jsH5y3RcpzVUW_lJeVyUDXDElLHWxXWFN12CWn8yQd9C-UlnA8i0ncEOhQPTmNYTfZvyaV4lsPYL0eouPuamxJbtXHgI8t3XnjDmymojNg_WvrlQ/s320/Photo-0685.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585673284253490402" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Raging party with the Bunns: Staple kid in the local scene gets faded into a cross-eyed coma, - like - at all their parties.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6gk-d33voI6_yumLpJ0s-jOGIfn8uOM9JO1Vgqy2fIzqF7z_M64LazkZ5ZroGBwXfAfcTD_Ch4Ma1iGvdAu67Ysm1cRIjihc9pWPlJOJftNxdTmm4XwAUSWiMCODOk8uNdwGQdwnlKQ/s1600/Photo-0686.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6gk-d33voI6_yumLpJ0s-jOGIfn8uOM9JO1Vgqy2fIzqF7z_M64LazkZ5ZroGBwXfAfcTD_Ch4Ma1iGvdAu67Ysm1cRIjihc9pWPlJOJftNxdTmm4XwAUSWiMCODOk8uNdwGQdwnlKQ/s320/Photo-0686.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585673284383530306" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Raging party with the Bunns: Vomit and Cake in the coi pond.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioIaLInzBpjKlbLmrD0-MMpTKIUcOajPLOl-r-Um-YH_-pEx56TvNSyg9kjBw5HnSFaYwC1Vr1ODMo9Dj_Xd4V10h9p4LcmwxvT0eRWJJOr4wYjf66J9zsxt5Kz3UCHi44KEO1_F7PpQ/s1600/Photo-0688.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioIaLInzBpjKlbLmrD0-MMpTKIUcOajPLOl-r-Um-YH_-pEx56TvNSyg9kjBw5HnSFaYwC1Vr1ODMo9Dj_Xd4V10h9p4LcmwxvT0eRWJJOr4wYjf66J9zsxt5Kz3UCHi44KEO1_F7PpQ/s320/Photo-0688.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672868652902210" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Raging party with the Bunns: Night ends with a jovial round of property damage. (He was whining that he wanted to remodel his kitchen, so we talked him into it)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdv08I0bjUbCcYXBWD3qR0FVv6Ib00EHRxazsCKDrlWlut-FtCLMHtlTdYfh3jyS5bwdPSZxvBqk414Em9s4PnhPXqRGdH4VY1_mQVm8MZJ1bZFNG_CeRZ7NsAX6zpDNDvfMBN9vprSQ/s1600/Photo-0690.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdv08I0bjUbCcYXBWD3qR0FVv6Ib00EHRxazsCKDrlWlut-FtCLMHtlTdYfh3jyS5bwdPSZxvBqk414Em9s4PnhPXqRGdH4VY1_mQVm8MZJ1bZFNG_CeRZ7NsAX6zpDNDvfMBN9vprSQ/s320/Photo-0690.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672864132968914" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Prescription antiperspirant from when I was a teen with a blazing-fast metabolism.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOa4iczRTdZIbRump6L1mKpa1AP4yrucBAbW063ZUsR_sNevJs2dn1qy2xsxtehBXV_XK3nkJKTaxedUPiYY03SNKwOwswI_qXZJwb518z5_ogn1k-eyOa2m3ioAu1zfWuuINBcM7EHw/s1600/Photo-0717.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOa4iczRTdZIbRump6L1mKpa1AP4yrucBAbW063ZUsR_sNevJs2dn1qy2xsxtehBXV_XK3nkJKTaxedUPiYY03SNKwOwswI_qXZJwb518z5_ogn1k-eyOa2m3ioAu1zfWuuINBcM7EHw/s320/Photo-0717.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672861608066034" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Drinking fountain at work</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXj8wmIg8It1MfH1aRZl6NJ_b-h3CzMIFCt0HgjC8v9vHjvo-DdI-ROwe_uyDqyVxBbXVR6TM6TGY9XoZ6q6HkLYFP_BiVK_-ZJEF8go1ggDH2dK9HmuwG4bHEI028KM667_rdu-7vhg/s1600/Photo-0725.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXj8wmIg8It1MfH1aRZl6NJ_b-h3CzMIFCt0HgjC8v9vHjvo-DdI-ROwe_uyDqyVxBbXVR6TM6TGY9XoZ6q6HkLYFP_BiVK_-ZJEF8go1ggDH2dK9HmuwG4bHEI028KM667_rdu-7vhg/s320/Photo-0725.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672856921295874" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Cousin graduated the 6th grade and we made him think we got him a stupid book. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKRBSZU-6kw23UITDhDKUEzqhKbBsy8dukhK3IoI4DiGiaQrkEGoJAVix4cou2mmOyJvT_G_yIU2_53PA4mGceR9zE-X2EUYFUoxL24h-CZetbN7xVsK7kANbom4N_4OvGjYzmsk0Dag/s1600/Photo-0794.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKRBSZU-6kw23UITDhDKUEzqhKbBsy8dukhK3IoI4DiGiaQrkEGoJAVix4cou2mmOyJvT_G_yIU2_53PA4mGceR9zE-X2EUYFUoxL24h-CZetbN7xVsK7kANbom4N_4OvGjYzmsk0Dag/s320/Photo-0794.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672857465672418" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I shaved my body hair to form a sweet 6 pack.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDUGvIrzKArggwfTkADweYgzG-XlGTaf2wMyhwcSroU31gY9lhfxYkE0_2Q7coya-d5UX7CFnQ-qDNma6kjziaVardoJ1ERyAD3IGUaKCMfLR9NNHPSQOjeBC5ZE4hB4vYvDZGz3_TCA/s1600/Photo-0812.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDUGvIrzKArggwfTkADweYgzG-XlGTaf2wMyhwcSroU31gY9lhfxYkE0_2Q7coya-d5UX7CFnQ-qDNma6kjziaVardoJ1ERyAD3IGUaKCMfLR9NNHPSQOjeBC5ZE4hB4vYvDZGz3_TCA/s320/Photo-0812.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672614428558034" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Cousin's outy</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCLSERjKxWQBsUDMjAjCO-Q80rxSRnDMzIYs8GKdZy6dju1DYCzCLeHz7Xh1ziqHoLRv0MnO0CisLygeMw_L0uqE5LBPo4PnYZY4qqp_jiCiMP25n6wjIdWVS5adFEsBO3d56bNhyphenhyphenF6g/s1600/Photo-0848.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCLSERjKxWQBsUDMjAjCO-Q80rxSRnDMzIYs8GKdZy6dju1DYCzCLeHz7Xh1ziqHoLRv0MnO0CisLygeMw_L0uqE5LBPo4PnYZY4qqp_jiCiMP25n6wjIdWVS5adFEsBO3d56bNhyphenhyphenF6g/s320/Photo-0848.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672612368909346" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Photo from college.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihF5JDa0t89porPoYuE-VZtWPVOBNE3ujmvv6xXvYUwMoLOv99Yow0iSQxswC2SSf3sFGaeG6q_bc7F7yWpr7_XSb6rrxhSr1LmdUhKGOyVVC4Vdt13dekjWCpfu_ssgdjnJgY-385pw/s1600/Photo-0850.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihF5JDa0t89porPoYuE-VZtWPVOBNE3ujmvv6xXvYUwMoLOv99Yow0iSQxswC2SSf3sFGaeG6q_bc7F7yWpr7_XSb6rrxhSr1LmdUhKGOyVVC4Vdt13dekjWCpfu_ssgdjnJgY-385pw/s320/Photo-0850.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672608886856930" /></a><div style="text-align: center;">Me doing a contrived boxer's pose in a friend's painting. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHbXxerUPw98GXJhbFv8rAd8xBpJz0yU-l-V4H73yv7zgO1xJrfZheAHrexA_aozFPr1fbWoQvHxg6T1U_PFs9KEVtPfdFuCuR0YjDwxJXWj7JDsuz9_fVs53y0OTBJzzixW5lwasA8A/s1600/Photo-0851.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHbXxerUPw98GXJhbFv8rAd8xBpJz0yU-l-V4H73yv7zgO1xJrfZheAHrexA_aozFPr1fbWoQvHxg6T1U_PFs9KEVtPfdFuCuR0YjDwxJXWj7JDsuz9_fVs53y0OTBJzzixW5lwasA8A/s320/Photo-0851.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672608712989250" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Me again (I think it's the same painting)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpb-PPtznEi5E8JUcOwUVEpqx3Mn7P8k_zpM5fCi60VtD7kshoWbkN1d5QIfJEVWC7nwwhG7EQ_puEGFNF4zBhwb2eXKLSTqdHmctS_NOZ1JiePBXmkRrecFt56ujZFCMQXpO-ErHovw/s1600/Photo-0852.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpb-PPtznEi5E8JUcOwUVEpqx3Mn7P8k_zpM5fCi60VtD7kshoWbkN1d5QIfJEVWC7nwwhG7EQ_puEGFNF4zBhwb2eXKLSTqdHmctS_NOZ1JiePBXmkRrecFt56ujZFCMQXpO-ErHovw/s320/Photo-0852.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672605231486402" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Me again. The kitchen was too small for me to snap a photo of the whole painting.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkREgwLKzbiQu1-RiOoRpPUqMCt88nCvsHr4Ng2f9S3CLQuvcEkChUlYWMuTxNZ_oGuSy2uBjYdKZpdCG7nXuBBZvbcoHDbfv6B2jCdL4gYtdSqoH6zH756RCfiUjCVq39gyZCf6RqVA/s1600/Photo-0853.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkREgwLKzbiQu1-RiOoRpPUqMCt88nCvsHr4Ng2f9S3CLQuvcEkChUlYWMuTxNZ_oGuSy2uBjYdKZpdCG7nXuBBZvbcoHDbfv6B2jCdL4gYtdSqoH6zH756RCfiUjCVq39gyZCf6RqVA/s320/Photo-0853.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672340480754578" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">When I lost weight, I stayed in baggy clothes just to show my friends this after pic, irl.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqX7CZ15anrAIEToFbq0rGexNxcrnAuDd-898WvNS59Y6lZ8o0h7bfwQEwcwFRUJvXbHzcQtAP5bUrqJ1rRebwPFWfE5Shyb6HBiJkGlZ1erJ8DhcdzU5-k-6ls8VsrkTq2jHDz4gzIA/s1600/Photo-0863.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqX7CZ15anrAIEToFbq0rGexNxcrnAuDd-898WvNS59Y6lZ8o0h7bfwQEwcwFRUJvXbHzcQtAP5bUrqJ1rRebwPFWfE5Shyb6HBiJkGlZ1erJ8DhcdzU5-k-6ls8VsrkTq2jHDz4gzIA/s320/Photo-0863.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672335012271042" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I threw up the phone number for the US Congressional Switch board. (save it to your phone under "Congress")</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ap1hzspvzGWHdDjA25DhBKrr_CkBb452sD3jwzii2twrXAVqEI53zY4yB4zTnxy2NzmEr7pYk1YczGzrhoNs_uxs1znM97oqzYZLZd-Xj1SfcJjJ50eNVf_G3S5zK3bJSKu_B8xreg/s1600/Photo-0960.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ap1hzspvzGWHdDjA25DhBKrr_CkBb452sD3jwzii2twrXAVqEI53zY4yB4zTnxy2NzmEr7pYk1YczGzrhoNs_uxs1znM97oqzYZLZd-Xj1SfcJjJ50eNVf_G3S5zK3bJSKu_B8xreg/s320/Photo-0960.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672332651310130" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">A single mom cancelled our date at the last minute so we switched it to a phone date. (Title: Table for One)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHYtYRl95oXSTes-MyXgSylrObgQ0UppiJjQ6AAez-GPGH6v-VTGTQT8aWLxf_rGKajF6cSBpRfxO1dVylgzCIZHFcXRdywyzSjTPtUYYfDLChzG6HQk2CJCSEjc2jGdZt-3K47Bil2w/s1600/Photo-0981+%25281%2529.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHYtYRl95oXSTes-MyXgSylrObgQ0UppiJjQ6AAez-GPGH6v-VTGTQT8aWLxf_rGKajF6cSBpRfxO1dVylgzCIZHFcXRdywyzSjTPtUYYfDLChzG6HQk2CJCSEjc2jGdZt-3K47Bil2w/s320/Photo-0981+%25281%2529.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672331143399826" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">My valentines mural</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlNdpKjQIXZJURaHst8LDTz4-NPBBcVOk8xcq_2fDAc50aayOMIpCyxhPjYE3ffy-wd4_TZJG4AvZiaaY5yQHYvvdqThKuspT5Q-27v_mKQwGyAE1kBSKpu9N2K5rumiE3XaxcvjDXQg/s1600/Photo-0981.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlNdpKjQIXZJURaHst8LDTz4-NPBBcVOk8xcq_2fDAc50aayOMIpCyxhPjYE3ffy-wd4_TZJG4AvZiaaY5yQHYvvdqThKuspT5Q-27v_mKQwGyAE1kBSKpu9N2K5rumiE3XaxcvjDXQg/s320/Photo-0981.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672326898573186" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thank god fortune cookies are free</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhECaw7r0PFYEnQIq7DQ6O1IKkq53WEaC7PEQdHX0d3I_PvsvPMOyGKhBcilL_muvgVJNAAMhEr6z6q0E1LSnixaLzLY8gwaBIhHiBX6yuPKUNNX5s9VhFm0gRZRfl52ngL40lAsNRhGA/s1600/Photo-0982.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhECaw7r0PFYEnQIq7DQ6O1IKkq53WEaC7PEQdHX0d3I_PvsvPMOyGKhBcilL_muvgVJNAAMhEr6z6q0E1LSnixaLzLY8gwaBIhHiBX6yuPKUNNX5s9VhFm0gRZRfl52ngL40lAsNRhGA/s320/Photo-0982.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672091651460882" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Shot this to a girl on valentines. She tests the blood for the blood bank. I figured I'd stick heart stickers to my viles so she'd get them at the lab. The supervisor at the blood bank wasn't having it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5V8YXhFBzdMJ3hBYhyphenhyphenU0gD3ekduTI4ewZRQ0p9Tphrns2obU2DRc4i5UePPW0DWaIktHy3ygqF2qg3MKUJNNVOArPsfUi-TToe3ljBgySya9HC5AGv73nSeVqtmP1hjNlbj9pw50zkw/s1600/Photo-0985.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5V8YXhFBzdMJ3hBYhyphenhyphenU0gD3ekduTI4ewZRQ0p9Tphrns2obU2DRc4i5UePPW0DWaIktHy3ygqF2qg3MKUJNNVOArPsfUi-TToe3ljBgySya9HC5AGv73nSeVqtmP1hjNlbj9pw50zkw/s320/Photo-0985.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672085728515938" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In my recent post <a href="http://brokenose.blogspot.com/2011/02/pop-goes-ego.html">Pop Goes The Ego</a> a girl made me feel a little self conscious. I took this pic so to pick on her and accuse her of making me feel self conscious.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhao_A61E7ByUU3wPJDsAXm94XnmqOimK2ZH7QCuS_XtPw1Pn7Ukk0BfHkdM2jxSfdmrZhPTXaLgCZUeCEpPpEngOIb9TW4Wbeuw_pH6MgE2NmWs_eledRT9ORucTyTAW3GBNjz9brTdA/s1600/Photo-0988.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhao_A61E7ByUU3wPJDsAXm94XnmqOimK2ZH7QCuS_XtPw1Pn7Ukk0BfHkdM2jxSfdmrZhPTXaLgCZUeCEpPpEngOIb9TW4Wbeuw_pH6MgE2NmWs_eledRT9ORucTyTAW3GBNjz9brTdA/s320/Photo-0988.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672082657837730" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I threw up one of those backdrops that they use in police lineups. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsr3VAYYcF1cW6MJ1NIcLO5mSJaFUw8AFshyphenhyphenou5BF51vDKN-nGN3na-xfnHFmIFe0O_hwMw_nXkLuZLruU-Uve95l7W3oRGYv-IYvYO0-XQdG8_y3wNpShlmI9bCAz2fzaHH4eY0dZhQ/s1600/Photo-0995.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsr3VAYYcF1cW6MJ1NIcLO5mSJaFUw8AFshyphenhyphenou5BF51vDKN-nGN3na-xfnHFmIFe0O_hwMw_nXkLuZLruU-Uve95l7W3oRGYv-IYvYO0-XQdG8_y3wNpShlmI9bCAz2fzaHH4eY0dZhQ/s320/Photo-0995.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672080019560002" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Close friend made his own manifold to light up the Tacoma glass-art scene. It makes the cutest burping noise.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDa6KKGHXNjdIjfTVUAZ-XOn6iba8g16l5P-arhkrEEhaFbdgG4MjwkkeDq-kEWwGy34NOM5VM7XBWyUyMIOC6n5lD6CY4tQP7oLw8rvJJNDWQhA_UKUs_shH0hgZPHFLXIUZYD0S5NA/s1600/Photo-081825.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDa6KKGHXNjdIjfTVUAZ-XOn6iba8g16l5P-arhkrEEhaFbdgG4MjwkkeDq-kEWwGy34NOM5VM7XBWyUyMIOC6n5lD6CY4tQP7oLw8rvJJNDWQhA_UKUs_shH0hgZPHFLXIUZYD0S5NA/s320/Photo-081825.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585672077411137266" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Internet girl shot me a snap of one of her paintings. Then later, she sorta spun me out. (I learned nothing!)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicQcZCtQRV-cGf2ja0LIJAs7_jHdkOOacRIhu6Csikz3_DiJmNL6Jpew75C3hUYSwpnv5s2fzzjEUM7meyCcTT5xBCxOA8gy2wVaIBuoe2sJwiwvFEtbIM2M1G0QmMIzHEdhYJIVpXtg/s1600/0205111614.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicQcZCtQRV-cGf2ja0LIJAs7_jHdkOOacRIhu6Csikz3_DiJmNL6Jpew75C3hUYSwpnv5s2fzzjEUM7meyCcTT5xBCxOA8gy2wVaIBuoe2sJwiwvFEtbIM2M1G0QmMIzHEdhYJIVpXtg/s320/0205111614.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671673321509122" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">This was the pic I showed to the blood bank supervisor. "See," I said. "I was planning to put the heart stickers up where it won't interfere with the instruments." The supervisor was shocked and wanted to know the name of the employee who sent me that pic. I kept a tight lip and girly still has a job.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXFdbcw4TF_bSmTU3ccoOOEjV_gsozN1A7AYiXGsPIlknvrVhyqrzjhL462JU4dPb50yLPrsCCFTJkeFUVCx4d1lIx3NQUDeYTHsi7WWrvUPZ2dqcYeWWS1bqr0eiI3PGuflHHtoei0w/s1600/100MEDIA95IMAG0003.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 191px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXFdbcw4TF_bSmTU3ccoOOEjV_gsozN1A7AYiXGsPIlknvrVhyqrzjhL462JU4dPb50yLPrsCCFTJkeFUVCx4d1lIx3NQUDeYTHsi7WWrvUPZ2dqcYeWWS1bqr0eiI3PGuflHHtoei0w/s320/100MEDIA95IMAG0003.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671665745612450" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Some loud art at Seatac International. My phone compressed it down to a thumb nail for some reason.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiSYzXUgIPXOnLrkIWKOHZGwxelEiogXvrQ2b53YEWu9M41NVThlIECEtjBZDbRtuVVHMFy-9kvFFP1IEjJrO6iFmMBLF5QlOeURu32wkNrj1xJd1JQ6IuW5rfRtoxfl2RIV9Bv13tXg/s1600/Photo-0818.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 80px; height: 60px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiSYzXUgIPXOnLrkIWKOHZGwxelEiogXvrQ2b53YEWu9M41NVThlIECEtjBZDbRtuVVHMFy-9kvFFP1IEjJrO6iFmMBLF5QlOeURu32wkNrj1xJd1JQ6IuW5rfRtoxfl2RIV9Bv13tXg/s320/Photo-0818.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671665843155410" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">My phone sucks, but this was an acrylic painting at the Seattle Art Museum. The colors were really vivid and distinct.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKdIUDitkHdJYb_kQ3_aKA_XbWwLPzY1lxGLmDVUt0DcsHY2NoP4E90kHWIKXbVmtIftwUKky6uUmxORFEL3CYD0lc_ErljGiLmBl5qQaYTFaFZNB651EfeQrJuyQqqAuHk05Ze_fhvw/s1600/Photo-08182.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKdIUDitkHdJYb_kQ3_aKA_XbWwLPzY1lxGLmDVUt0DcsHY2NoP4E90kHWIKXbVmtIftwUKky6uUmxORFEL3CYD0lc_ErljGiLmBl5qQaYTFaFZNB651EfeQrJuyQqqAuHk05Ze_fhvw/s320/Photo-08182.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671663193308306" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I tried to copy that painting with spray paint.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIUIko9-rJke_Yl5L4Pc8LW3O1Uttx7qYVyXo_lzDfLNJ0oz_Q_lj0_9Cg_XrKnfx4HOdaSGmMlg_e7IM7i_DYhDDj4QmDFNsLvQDDmylPxiBPnWyfX0B766ZWTIQSpn3XDzrPPCzy-A/s1600/Photo-0890.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIUIko9-rJke_Yl5L4Pc8LW3O1Uttx7qYVyXo_lzDfLNJ0oz_Q_lj0_9Cg_XrKnfx4HOdaSGmMlg_e7IM7i_DYhDDj4QmDFNsLvQDDmylPxiBPnWyfX0B766ZWTIQSpn3XDzrPPCzy-A/s320/Photo-0890.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671661130273906" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I wasted my money on some spray paint intended for metal. I made it work.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJRNhLM7KxG5kxhN9GoCYQ-szsqkTh3alikI9Go87ID78EufePhzv-o6V_JB80XlKD_JgtANdDgODaYVHGQFr8HChyqUzIv7AxycxfwrxNRzpMRxTtCa187wxjFy_oH1Z3fh4DBw5ioA/s1600/Photo-0892+%25281%2529.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJRNhLM7KxG5kxhN9GoCYQ-szsqkTh3alikI9Go87ID78EufePhzv-o6V_JB80XlKD_JgtANdDgODaYVHGQFr8HChyqUzIv7AxycxfwrxNRzpMRxTtCa187wxjFy_oH1Z3fh4DBw5ioA/s320/Photo-0892+%25281%2529.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671379026359090" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Fall color phase.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV296k1LaVGdMng51lZAB4IBafY-_q9lfdSvISLbtdDHSomxp3nAlWNS9vQeN0LSE2NxtthEr3mLxcdeHx2BuCWoqFJ-5kLg60LnlKZ283CwRpBsOFK0J-KiYyRbd1_PTjTVJBK5ixvw/s1600/Photo-0872.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV296k1LaVGdMng51lZAB4IBafY-_q9lfdSvISLbtdDHSomxp3nAlWNS9vQeN0LSE2NxtthEr3mLxcdeHx2BuCWoqFJ-5kLg60LnlKZ283CwRpBsOFK0J-KiYyRbd1_PTjTVJBK5ixvw/s320/Photo-0872.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671369876829762" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thanksgiving mural. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGlcU1C7P1wPOUsfFApNUjIu_FIo5NJ5hdaMQaAou4jD-FSGCyy76U4NzjyhHQWxHyz0SDezVLVix9XMDDq_rMA6a2bszKlUPER0TqxAStTZOnnngVFHE-_rV7v3SViLhRkI5ytHTkig/s1600/Photo-0900+%25281%2529.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGlcU1C7P1wPOUsfFApNUjIu_FIo5NJ5hdaMQaAou4jD-FSGCyy76U4NzjyhHQWxHyz0SDezVLVix9XMDDq_rMA6a2bszKlUPER0TqxAStTZOnnngVFHE-_rV7v3SViLhRkI5ytHTkig/s320/Photo-0900+%25281%2529.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671364448811890" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Took a shot at the galaxy crap.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Zy2Ch5Ztfd6venEX-PDxSpg8k4P93qtNVvcijVt38LOwFfhvQDjKRNLGgZCFJjdekEDgRRAn7Gc2HiuQpx0pj72izPjQnnAdb14Q_H-F05uxug9SYO4FKlM0H1JWv0aX4mjlbcMILQ/s1600/Photo-0905.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Zy2Ch5Ztfd6venEX-PDxSpg8k4P93qtNVvcijVt38LOwFfhvQDjKRNLGgZCFJjdekEDgRRAn7Gc2HiuQpx0pj72izPjQnnAdb14Q_H-F05uxug9SYO4FKlM0H1JWv0aX4mjlbcMILQ/s320/Photo-0905.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671365742932258" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I've sent this to girls I've never met. And then they'd meet me.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMe72_BlcB323IDc0qoeUmqKtekvpENeyCo8cmukLSL7Z_CZHSn3IC1g-g_7S-AoT7nd6SCcsks_-DKnxP-OVPjJyepU6tjy5j2J3FxVjweFotAwvfbkr-qlWGofHpZby_i6tW0bG11w/s1600/Photo-0922.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMe72_BlcB323IDc0qoeUmqKtekvpENeyCo8cmukLSL7Z_CZHSn3IC1g-g_7S-AoT7nd6SCcsks_-DKnxP-OVPjJyepU6tjy5j2J3FxVjweFotAwvfbkr-qlWGofHpZby_i6tW0bG11w/s320/Photo-0922.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671362042111874" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><u><br /></u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><u><br /></u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><u><br /></u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">Xmas mural</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><u><br /></u></span></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlvNZtfseczGMdXlaqRXcmOLxBSazUK1BM1NitODzFmXGzzJIep6ADN5X1dfA99v17BN9-ob7EV6TJ3o1pFyIwG7u5Duxd0kaK4iHR7jNIq5RXqeHkxtoZka6mZv8wLx67VVsuAofj5A/s1600/Photo-0931+%25281%2529.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlvNZtfseczGMdXlaqRXcmOLxBSazUK1BM1NitODzFmXGzzJIep6ADN5X1dfA99v17BN9-ob7EV6TJ3o1pFyIwG7u5Duxd0kaK4iHR7jNIq5RXqeHkxtoZka6mZv8wLx67VVsuAofj5A/s320/Photo-0931+%25281%2529.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671162857308498" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Girly in Olympia lives in one of her dad's houses and just doesn't give a f***</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ZbohhCtZjlNoXdzOiaY_bOZRoLgDVVyQ8MCEZWu1YUsc0YplaEK4GwLORCtpfpSaNE6d7cuVXce8R-ZJVMcK0pXoB0hGeCVFQmi97NgXk00Lql5-36HFW18nitubY-LV0PbyI6Ix3g/s1600/Photo-0943.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ZbohhCtZjlNoXdzOiaY_bOZRoLgDVVyQ8MCEZWu1YUsc0YplaEK4GwLORCtpfpSaNE6d7cuVXce8R-ZJVMcK0pXoB0hGeCVFQmi97NgXk00Lql5-36HFW18nitubY-LV0PbyI6Ix3g/s320/Photo-0943.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671160481095442" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">You need to have played <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdPXskJBFl4">Robot Unicorn</a> to get this.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3fOIEEcHk6UqMyhwnb7h2WTSKzkqi6meg852M8i-QmQjnInfkrzj2Xsj88AJn_BMndwJh_2Osk60wDGm7ehV9UMYKFgHsv4P_c4GCxtcn7DE1J4r7HAVFcG_eaIburok7nOpQkDHB0w/s1600/Photo-0945.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3fOIEEcHk6UqMyhwnb7h2WTSKzkqi6meg852M8i-QmQjnInfkrzj2Xsj88AJn_BMndwJh_2Osk60wDGm7ehV9UMYKFgHsv4P_c4GCxtcn7DE1J4r7HAVFcG_eaIburok7nOpQkDHB0w/s320/Photo-0945.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671161802458466" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Girly locked me out of her building at 4:am. I had no clue why. I found this mark on my arm and got super worried that I had forgotten some sort of altercation. If so, then she also blacked it out, so I think I'm safe.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsG-f5ZOb-YI03oH26yZAiZZ8ZtzoiOYG2ONPCYHAPjuHA_x3ODt0L5tCfeqxdbEcJyHj2IIbdmoYowoVWlsKTz4WQiF0kcTD6_oYJ7-sVnEXkbmD-388ibQ0HS8FhfGK-_lN_dGRKww/s1600/Photo-0951.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsG-f5ZOb-YI03oH26yZAiZZ8ZtzoiOYG2ONPCYHAPjuHA_x3ODt0L5tCfeqxdbEcJyHj2IIbdmoYowoVWlsKTz4WQiF0kcTD6_oYJ7-sVnEXkbmD-388ibQ0HS8FhfGK-_lN_dGRKww/s320/Photo-0951.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585671156691275218" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-80927472723438863082011-02-17T18:26:00.000-08:002011-04-22T15:57:50.658-07:00Pop Goes The Ego<div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"></div><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><br /></div><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><br /></div><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><br /></div>Okay fuckers, this is the pic on my dating profile:<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA6VkVnYlSh84TD8QGoizgtY5Pb4274KdtRv_Re62zoEjK-VjNbkZ49ziKR2AlMxhlLov9Lfkn4VLzjjwz8LCwIT0xBs-qxv7qVY_JTKvq0Yg4knTobRiDu36t1M6g9sK0tk_iZR2dSw/s1600/siobhan5.png"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 311px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 304px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5574854370989280914" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA6VkVnYlSh84TD8QGoizgtY5Pb4274KdtRv_Re62zoEjK-VjNbkZ49ziKR2AlMxhlLov9Lfkn4VLzjjwz8LCwIT0xBs-qxv7qVY_JTKvq0Yg4knTobRiDu36t1M6g9sK0tk_iZR2dSw/s320/siobhan5.png" /></a><br />Yes, it's from 2007.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The way I roll on internet dating sites is I keep my profile hidden. That keeps my face from being associated with the other douche bags online. If you've never been on a dating site, you should really take note. Girls get TONS of mail from douche bags. Girls don't usually write back to douche bags. A large percentage of douche bags get frustrated and start sending butt hurt emails.<br /><br /><br />So basically, girls log into dating sites. They find themselves in a sea of douche bags, they read douchey, butt hurt messages which call them "stuck up," and "vapid." Then they click on your profile and go "This guy must also be a douche bag."<br /><br /><br />Fair enough.<br /><br /><br />I keep my shit hidden so that doesn't happen to me.<br /><br /><br />When I see a girl I like, I send a simple " ;) " and that's all.<br /><br /><br />Sure you can read a girl's profile. Sure, you can write some bullshit to make a girl think you're awesome. But, why waste the effort if they're not gonna write back?<br /><br /><br />I just send a simple winky-face, and 1 in 8 girls write back.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Here's a girl who responded to my winky-face.<br /><br /><br />Her name is Siobhan (pronounced: Sheh-Von)<br /><br /><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 116px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 250px; CURSOR: pointer" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5574858128027346706" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgojEytyZQ9VeE4vSloPgtlULkK0KKTki6l5dgONQ8ThpuzMa7rzAKmZSF8Av8L5fP_JjcWgLC-OJxTR5YKcwhqERSBLWLVaOHTHrHDYFiV450FQhb1xfDbXntwStyEtbozMOiSvgyH8A/s320/siobhan3.png" /></span><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 170px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 302px; CURSOR: pointer" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5574858433286207810" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZN_PHC_SOTX8x5UD7sQg25F-KXj5k-OpKcDps7L-aNPI1MFVUPsktYXK6NizUB6rnCebSq_pqnORgVZI9nGeScKegxSax_OJU0q8mCgrkB2dz8p0iWgNKIMTMsRlTJStt8jAvpi4Z4g/s320/siobhan4.png" /></span></span><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span">Certainly no divergence between the two pictures. (PFFFFT)</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">I talk her into going out with me.</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0)" class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span><br />She was super hesitant to give me her phone number, but I finally got a text at work:<br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Hey 6 at trudys tonight?</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me:<br /><br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Yup. :)<br />Do you get picture text?<br /></blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Yes</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me:<br /><br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Hi Siobhan!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9wf8nmaSNEv94Q2_HrddGs-LpdHVmKayKqtZGI6Uih9PrPFHEGX6sw00vNMc281yPNab_3HnsFvgXicV-8zvYtFbPOHS5bMD08RwzEZp9xpPX39n-WIqLMcuGgPYtialXnO8XzEp0fA/s1600/siobhan1.png"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: pointer" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5574860083670121810" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9wf8nmaSNEv94Q2_HrddGs-LpdHVmKayKqtZGI6Uih9PrPFHEGX6sw00vNMc281yPNab_3HnsFvgXicV-8zvYtFbPOHS5bMD08RwzEZp9xpPX39n-WIqLMcuGgPYtialXnO8XzEp0fA/s320/siobhan1.png" /></a><br />Grainy but current. :)<br /></blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>You dnt look like person in profile</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Never heard that before.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Maybe cause its a profile and not head on shot. But from that picture im not interested. Which sounds mean but its true and i dnt wanna have you drive down here for nothing.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>no that's not mean. I was just shooting you the pic so you could see what I was wearing so you'd know me when I walked in. You want a better pic we'll take a couple where I'm smiling. don't fret over a rushed snap shot from the men's room. trust me.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Sorry. I wont be showing up tonight</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Jesus.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me (half hour later):<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Don't feel bad. it's perfectly in bounds to be skittish in the context of first dates. :) it's alright if you need to cancel.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>I need to cancel.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Yeah, we covered that, lol.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Oh okay just making sure aren't making the trip for nothing.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>I meant don't feel bad for cancelling.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Alright.</blockquote><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Me (1 hour later):<br /><br /><br /><br /><blockquote><br /><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"></span><br /></blockquote><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: pointer" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5574867417624412450" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigWHL7KSnbsMcURH4CqbUMzSbeoizTJjTFv7ZWaRzwn4HU7_p4oZUBLFnoML0Q38adVJC4RjWIt9INGiYds6Cxwz2ZPXX2iZ3JAs-Wu-tj8B5Y9uYwl7HxEA_tQpu9wMW60IHpk3wwEQ/s320/siobhan2.png" /></span><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">Girl: </span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /><br /><blockquote>Um...</blockquote></span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">Me:</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span><br /><br /><br /><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">Haha</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">Based on my experience, that writing on the wall is nothing short of true. ;)</span></span><br /></blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span">Me:</span><br /><br /><br /><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span">I'm not gonna push the meeting up thing, I'm already home. But ou should poor yourself a glass of wine and we'll chat on the phone. :)</span></blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Oh really? Okay</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Do you want me to call you now, or wait until 6 as planned?</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>What? Why would you call?</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>You just said okay, to the phone proposal. check your texts. ;)</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>I didn't see that msg</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Me:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Yeah well how are you feelin' it?</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>I'm not much of a talker... esp on the phone.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Girl:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>[silent treatment]</blockquote><br /><br /><br />MFWTF?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><br /><br /><img src="http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/8585/mfwtf.gif" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 295px; CURSOR: pointer" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5574896014404011058" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf4N3j5WIzXv4s1WRtME6jmtAa9EKJF8jDudokolxxppCIIwvktkqgbHaTYy38HFYVOuofnz4ecFsQ6CrcyCgsVRgDUpW5dY3_JMQFsP_lWcRrBETBAX89EGzBLU-VTI7IfWuxU41zpQ/s320/siobhan6.png" /></span><br /><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline" class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-46959202309966700442010-11-13T22:46:00.000-08:002010-11-13T22:53:02.636-08:00Job Fail<div><br /></div><div>Long ago, around 2003, I think some lady was giving a bj to her boyfriend, and her 4 year old daughter came in the room.</div><div><br /></div><div>"Why were you putting your mouth on his thing?" she probably asked.</div><div>And, the mom probably answered something along the lines of "because it's special and we like it," or maybe she said "because it tastes good," who knows.</div><div><br /></div><div>This little girl gets dropped off at daycare on Monday and blows a kid in the play house. It wasn't a proper blowjob, I'm sure, but according to one of the kids who saw it, "She put his penis in her mouth." She made a fist in front of her mouth to illustrate a pretend wiener in her hand. "Then she showed me his penis," she pointed the pretend penis at me, "then she laughed, and kept sucking it."</div><div><br /></div><div>And that's why there's, now, no roof on the play house at L.P.A. in Redmond. </div>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-30502996232705157952010-10-03T23:09:00.000-07:002010-10-03T23:51:15.340-07:00The Naked Lady Guy<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Today, two tweenage skaters, in bike helmets, were buzzing around me. One of their mom's appeared. She pointed me out and went "Hey look! It's the naked lady guy!"</div><div><br /></div><div>It took me a second to realize what she was talking about, and then I went "That's right."</div><div>And she replied "Wow!"</div><div><br /></div><div>She walked over to observe me while I was working on my sloppiest, runniest endeavor, thus far. I was fitting myself into a neatly masked spot on a massive banner for the RND crew. She asked if I was with RND and I told her "No, this isn't mine. I bomb on other people's murals but I do it in a way that's not a crude 'X' right through it."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Oh!" she smiles, "So you take someone's art and you improve upon it."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Yes!" I lied.</div><div><br /></div><div>She's got the right idea. It is my intention to take something cool and make it dope. Had she caught me last week I could have said with confidence "I made this shit look dope."</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBgkRPKQt1dnToEsnZDdK5EfxeCeckoRpZ4YBLYB_yLpkVDhNWcS07d5_cLzKJQB-sEkNKqk8FVFQz-eif4l-iMb1agLRqzXzFlLFcS8l5ZvJp9z-4bt-Mezqnh6lQR-ucWzJb7iGOwQ/s320/opg1.jpg" style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524069453068768770" /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>But she had caught me in the middle of a half-ass'd plan to merely get back up on a wall where, the day before, I had blatantly dissed a legitimate graffer with my first mural(ette). And that mural(ette) had been bombed by RND within 12 hours of me putting it up. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQzhTfJzrJAj11A6tx2RnWJQK6lWrAHkrbKfnduPmozaqMUPAP25rMIYtqVJB4xmPpNbhHx3h7ux4IjXgNpzYg9OKAsidD8-WcAfuII-X9x5ryCMIl7HaXeIknuRDhWpALfliEYF8Vrw/s320/4hire.jpg" style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524069448568690786" /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Had I been sighted (as the naked lady guy) while putting up that mural(ette) it would have made my week.</div>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-3140459836375261152010-08-05T04:57:00.000-07:002010-08-05T05:22:54.763-07:00What could be done with 8.7Billion<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>8.7 billion dollars has gone unaccounted for in Iraq. </div><div><br /></div><div>I did some research and based on First Solar's financials we could have done the following.</div><div><br /></div><div>Spent half of it on education/training for </div><div><br /></div><div>14,601 workers</div><div><br /></div><div>And built 31 solar panel factories yielding 100 megawatts of panel per year.</div><div><br /></div><div>By year 7 we'd have 39 factories with enough profit to finance 11 new factories.</div><div><div>year 9: 50 factories finance 14 new</div><div>year 11: 64 factories finance 18 new</div><div>year 13: 82 factories finance 23 New</div><div>year 15: 105 factories finance 30 new</div></div><div>year 17: 135 factories producing $5.4b profit</div><div><br /></div><div>year 21: recouped initial investment with (US cut of) 2.7b profits each year. 63585 jobs created in Iraq.</div><div><br /></div><div>Over 25 years it's less than a 4% APY, but it would curb the insurgency, create infrastructure for jobs and education, reduce the 25% poverty rate, keep Iraq in the energy production game, AND we'd get our money back. </div>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-44834400059267428562010-07-18T16:35:00.000-07:002011-03-21T01:48:09.581-07:00This Takes me BackI'd consider the double rainbow video to be fairly lame on the long list of viral media. This next video is also pretty lame but I can't get enough of it.<br /><br /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1938676&fullscreen=1" width="480" height="360"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="movie" quality="best" value="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1938676&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1938676&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="480" height="360" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><div style="padding:5px 0; text-align:center; width:480px;">See more <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/videos">funny videos</a> and <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures">funny pictures</a> at <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/">CollegeHumor</a>.</div>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-3663845059174827952010-07-01T22:49:00.000-07:002010-07-03T00:42:17.974-07:00Celebrity Influence<div><br /></div><div>Wow, I some how managed to miss Michael Jackson's Earth Song, back in the day.</div><div><br /></div><div>But my girlfriend caught me up on it and now I'm sorta pissed off.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm suddenly, again, outraged that Oprah is retiring.</div><div><br /></div><div>I can't say that this oil spill hasn't gotten a lot of media attention, but does anyone feel like there's something not happening which used to happen with shit like this?</div><div><br /></div><div>Does anyone feel like "more should be done," but you can't place your finger on it?</div><div><br /></div><div>That's because Michael Jackson used to have our backs and he'd sound the alarm and there'd be a huge production and shit would get -or at least feel- better.</div><div><br /></div><div>What do we have instead? Kevin fucking Costner!</div><div><br /></div><div>Oprah! You can't just take your money and turn your backs on us.</div>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-24854948392663739202010-06-09T17:17:00.000-07:002010-06-09T17:40:41.533-07:00Rules of the Marion Manor of Iowa1. No more chances.<br />2. No snotty, self-absorbed, - do as [you] damn well please - attitudes.<br />3. No slobbery (in part, or in total).<br />4. No rights.<br />5. No minding of business of which is not your own.<br />6. No further transgressions.<br />7. No snotty outbursts.<br />8. No sneaking out.<br />9. No staying out past 11:00pm on work nights.<br />10. No tromping up the stairs.<br />11. No leaving the lights on.<br />12. No cooking nor phone calls into the late hours of the night.<br />13. No AWOL's.<br />14. No bathroom messes.<br />15. No hiding messes behind closed doors.<br />16. No smoking (and no evidence there of).<br />17. No dirty Dishes.<br />18. No kitchen messes.<br />19. No misplacing of household items.es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-857545691122338722010-05-11T01:04:00.000-07:002010-05-11T02:12:49.512-07:00Idea for the Gulf Coast Oil SpillPeople with names like Kenneth Montana belong to commissions dealing with tourism around the Gulf Coast. They're shitting their pants right now because the Deep Horizon Oil Spill is going to decimate the tourism sector in that region.<br /><br />Someone should tell someone to tell something like FEMA to raise an army of volunteers across the nation, fund their transport, set up some tents and have a huge beach party/ relief effort where patriots and burners can go make and spend a little money in these twilight tourist communities. <div><br /></div><div>Put me in charge and I'll work out the details, but for the time being, here's what I've whipped up.<br /><br /><img src="http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/28/oilclip01.png" /><br /><br /><img src="http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/5833/oilspgif2.gif" /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/1287/oilclipgif2.gif" /><br /><br /><br />We pay Mexico between $74 and $84 per barrel of crude.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /><br /><img src="http://tonto.eia.doe.gov/energyexplained/images/charts/products_from_barrel_crude_oil-small.gif" /><div><br /><br />Each volunteer should get paid $70 (tax free) for each salvaged barrel of crude, and BP should cut the checks. They have to clean it up anyway, and if the shit is out their too long, it'll end up worthless, so we might as well get to work scooping it up.<br /><br /><br /></div><div>I know that scooping oil into a barrel might only yield $140 a day, but I'm sure that after 2 days, the weekend ruff necks will be improvising better, faster methods of filling those barrels. Plus, free FEMA accommodations and $140 a day is way better than being hella unemployed. Think of it as fishing only every time you cast, you catch something. </div><div><br /></div><div>Seriously though, why not?</div><div><br /></div><div>This picture is losing it's momentum.</div><div><br /></div><img src="http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/9274/obamaf.png" /></div>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-61267396753509388672010-05-04T14:16:00.000-07:002010-05-04T15:15:43.423-07:00Picture ReviewIf having to settle for a pulled pork sandwich isn't a big enough <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">disappointment</span> when you're eating out, Red Hook Brewery will double your <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">disappointment</span> when you actually get to see what you're spending $11 on.<br /><br /><img style="WIDTH: 366px; HEIGHT: 303px" src="http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/9594/photo0509.jpg" width="641" height="480" /><br /><br /><br />This fucker is reading while driving.<br /><br /><img src="http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/1238/photo0536q.jpg" width="316" height="296" /><br /><br /><br />Me looking thinner than usual in my late 20's.<br /><br /><br /><img style="WIDTH: 364px; HEIGHT: 299px" src="http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/1451/photo0585a.jpg" width="320" height="299" /><br /><br /><br />This is a Japanese ring featuring a massive pearl.<br /><br /><img src="http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/6359/photo0594.jpg" width="335" height="248" /><br /><br /><br />This is how much a candy bar is supposed to cost.<br /><br /><img src="http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/4452/photo0598.jpg" width="325" height="241" /><br /><br /><br />This is me at my heaviest, around age 20.<br /><br /><img src="http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/3314/photo0600x.jpg" width="328" height="269" /><br /><br /><br />This was once "the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">swimming</span> hole."<br /><br /><img src="http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/8444/photo0607.jpg" width="330" height="223" /><br /><br /><br />This is a board game for Lord of the Rings.<br /><br /><img src="http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/9062/photo0622.jpg" width="330" height="248" /><br /><br /><br />This is litter left on a hiking trail by some prick who eats organic produce.<br /><br /><img src="http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/8010/photo0625.jpg" width="321" height="243" />es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-69691218441155289512010-03-28T13:05:00.000-07:002010-03-28T14:31:23.187-07:00A Sunny SaturdayThere was a 10 for $10 deal at QFC, so I thought I'd impress the girlfriend by chugging 10 vitamin-waters in the parking lot.<br /><br />While I gulped through the third bottle, my girlfriend announced that, according to the labels, I had just consumed 60 ounces of panic attack potion.<br /><br />Anyone who's ever drank 60 ounces of vitamine water might tell you how badly you'll end up having to pee... but if they do tell you that, they're a fucking liar because I shat out the 60 ounces of vitamine water within 20 minutes of drinking it.<br /><br />I kid you not, I had to flush the toilet 4 times to mask the sound of my continuous crapping because the nerd at the game store didn't seem too excited when he pointed me to the restroom.<br /><br />After the restroom episode, my gf and I went to get gyros and we took a stroll through the park.<br /><br />We came across this flyer. We looked at it closely, and then my gf insisted that it was our duty to take this flyer and throw it in the trash.<br /><br /><div>Transcription below<br /><a href="http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/1023/flyersss.jpg"><img src="http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/1023/flyersss.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br />"BABYSITTIN' SERVICE!!!!<br /><br />Going out on a Saturday night?<br />Enjoying a day of relaxation?<br />Can't enjoy those things cuz' you've gotta watch your child?<br /><br />Now you can! Dorian [full name] and Taylor [full name] are here to watch your children for a reasonable price!<br /><br />With both of us at age thirteen and 7th graders we both have experience from babysitting.<br /><br />We will watch all ages from 1 year olds to 9 year olds. We both have average grades and great attitudes.<br /><br />We HIGHLY understand the responsibilityand maturity it takes to take care of your child.<br /><br />You name the price that is resonable for you! (Payment by the hour is recommended)<br />If you are interested contact us at<br />[full phone number] (Dorian's phone)<br />[full phone number] (Taylor's phone)<br /><br />taylor_[last name]@hotmail.com (Talor's Email)<br /><br />[graphic: smiley face] Thanks 4 you're time."</div>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-19185087273689846722010-01-28T21:37:00.001-08:002010-01-28T21:47:03.199-08:00fml<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Guess who went to work wearing his underwear backwards today?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><img src="http://img713.imageshack.us/img713/2230/tatsssss.png" /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Taken at work</span><br /><div><br /></div><div><br />Candy Ass.</div>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-8883529160830256462010-01-19T19:02:00.000-08:002010-01-19T19:08:32.992-08:00Of No ConsequenceMy sister has an interesting relationship with doors.<br /><br />This was one of her many responses to my father's apathy.<br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/1421/doorhinge.gif" /><br /><br /><br />I'm starting to think that the term "off it's hinges," requires a screw driver, or the word "almost," followed by nothing actually happening (except loud banging.)es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-14566153431350824902010-01-15T15:42:00.000-08:002010-01-15T16:04:06.071-08:00ZingTo the untrained eye, this may appear boring.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">click pic for full image</span><br /><a href="http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/5200/realestate.png"><img src="http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/5200/realestate.png" /></a><br /><br />But having been an independent professional in a past life, I know the seething hatred which must be swallowed when your close friends KNOW you are in the field from which they pick a professional who is NOT YOU to pay ridiculous amounts of commission to.es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-71772443617570295102010-01-04T15:58:00.000-08:002010-01-04T18:09:49.906-08:00My youngest sister is an idiot.Oh Jesus Christ!!!<br /><br />My mom was worried that my youngest sister was walking into an ambush, when she arranged to drive down to skid row and pick up her "ex" boyfriend's iPhone and house key. <br /><br />This kid should have been out of the picture ages ago, however my sister can't seem to nut up and deal with the 4 to 6 sad days that follow a breakup. <br /><br />She was telling me, that evening, how she had waited around for 3 hours while this kid was supposed to be getting his pay check. And after that 3 hour wait, he returned to her car empty handed. Then they got in a fight and she told him to go stay with his dad for the night. <br />I told her it was more likely that he promptly received his pay check and then took 3 hours to score heroin. <br /><br />Being that I'm fucking psychic, my mother; with her .357 in her lap, my youngest sister, and I; following from behind in my car as back-up, rolled down to the SODO district to retrieve the iPhone and house key from this kid's dealer, known as <em>Pilgrim; the heroin dealer who lives beneath the west Seattle bridge.</em><br /><em></em><br />Nothing exciting happened because <em>Pilgrim; the heroin dealer who lives beneath the west Seattle bridge, </em>knows that when one of his customers is in possession of their fussy girlfriend's property, it's best to just deal with her so she'll stfu.<br /><br />My youngest sister wanted me to commend her, as she kept asking "Are you proud of me? Are you proud of me for breaking up with him?"<br /><br />"Lets see if it sticks," was all I was willing to reply.<br /><br />It didn't stick.<br /><br />So following the news that she asked my other sister to "Not tell dad that [my hep c positive, heroin addict bf] has moved back in, until dad cuts me the rent check for January," I am now buzzing with psychic predictions.<br /><br />I predict that my sister will be going to jail for possession of heroin. <br /><br />See, the poor, junky bf got "re-addicted" to heroin on xmas, which is my youngest sister's fault (of course).<br />He says that he only needs 1 gram of heroin a day to get by. And my sister claims that she can ration him out 1 gram every 4 days and he'll be fine. <br /><br />You are retarded (or very, very not psychic) if you can't read from this that she'll be driving this kid to score heroin, will be the only heroin buyer with a car (cars have lic. plates btw), and become the heroin dealer(s)' taxi cab who trades rides places for drugs that her boyfriend can shoot into his neck (cuz his arms and feet are blown).<br /><br />If she avoids jail up to that point, then she'll make all sorts of skid-row friends who will start squatting in her apartment (because now heroin is tolerated there) and she'll take on this ridiculous <em>mother superior</em> roll where she provides clean needles and shampoo, and then gets hustled into allowing heroin sales to take place, because for every bum you see holding a card-board sign, there are 4 to 6 people behind that guy who have (inch by inch) been bled for as much as they could possibly give to keep that bum from having to fill out some sort of application and hold themselves accountable to some sort of social contract.es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-71845066447543930222009-12-29T16:41:00.000-08:002009-12-30T17:01:13.197-08:00Christmas 09House sitting for the holidays is nice when out of town friends don't want to go back to their parents' homes after the bar closes.<br /><br /><br /><br />Not to knock on people from LA but the only people with balls enough to ingest a live worm were me and my pal, The Cobra.<br /><br /><img src="http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/6017/wormh.png" /><br /><br /><br />Following that, I may or may not have burned a hole in the rug where I was house sitting.<br /><br /><br /><br />Can you see it?<br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img407.imageshack.us/img407/4373/burn.png" /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">(It's at the bottom center of the pic)</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My Mom is famous for giving gifts that disappoint. I've decided that when telling my Mom what I want for x-mas, I get very specific and pretty much delegate to her my resupply of calender stationary.<br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/6939/giftb.png" /><br /><br />I don't quite understand why she'd package it in an empty box, twice the size of my gift, though.<br /><br /><img src="http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/2600/boxvs.png" /><br /><br />Was she hoping that I'd find relief when I opened the mysterious box and not find a stupid <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">ebay</span> gift?<br /><br />My Mid-West Grandma still seems to recall when <a href="http://brokenose.blogspot.com/2009/08/homefront-drama.html#yourNamedAnchor">that kid</a> stole our <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">christmas</span> money, and now she sends my cards in more secure parcels.<br /><br /><img src="http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/9767/cardj.png" /><br /><br />My sister will do anything to get others to agree that my dad is strange.<br /><br /><img src="http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/1782/rolls.png" /><br /><br /><br />Toilet paper rolls behind your bedroom door is fucking strange.<br /><br /><img src="http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/2640/rolls2.png" /><br /><br />I came across them when wrapping gifts at my Dad's house.<br /><br />I have no idea why he'd be hording used toilet paper rolls. I looked it up and seriously, none of this shit is stuff my dad cares about.<br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/9092/rolls3.png" />es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-75812650154487318772009-12-10T14:36:00.000-08:002009-12-10T16:39:18.582-08:00Quirky FamilyMy Other Sister, the middle of us three kids, has been with her current boyfriend for a few - going on several - years. I'm not sure if marriage is in the cards; based on what my sister's shared with me.<br /><br />I guess that whenever the topic of marriage comes up, her boyfriend maintains the stance that (for whatever reason) he is not going to marry my sister.<br /><br />The topic came up recently and the conversation went down the same old path, so my sister, who states she could see herself "getting more and more upset," preemptively kicked her boyfriend out of the bedroom, slamming a locked door in his face.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />To which he replied:<br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/3017/noname2.png" /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">(Fuck you door!)</span><br /><br />Believe it or not, that was just one kick! However, his foot went through the door and got stuck, so the other 7 sq ft. of door came off when he gracefully withdrew.<br /><br />I don't know if you can tell... but the door is fucked.<br />My sister decided that the upper half of the door is door-ey enough to keep up. Unfortunately, it snaps and grinds when they try to open it, so...<br /><br /><img src="http://img692.imageshack.us/img692/6392/noname1o.png" /><br /><br />They crawl through the hole like people-sized animals.es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-319902156581486352009-12-06T12:43:00.000-08:002009-12-10T16:41:26.628-08:00ImpressedDesert Fire's breakfast is a secret so well kept, it's probably the worst shift for the wait staff to work.<br /><br />The mimosa's cost One-fucking-Dollar!!!!!<br /><br />The food was so good I took the left overs to the park.<br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/6164/door3.jpg" /><br /><br />Seriously, I went home, brought the left overs inside, realized I needed smokes, grabbed the left overs, took them back out to the car, got my smokes, then took the left overs to the park.<br /><br />I still have yet to eat them.<br /><br /><br />Update:<br />I ate them.es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-79846835478480922632009-11-13T00:56:00.000-08:002009-11-13T01:39:14.715-08:00RacialI just heard from a credible source that there's a consensus among women of color that "White guys don't wash their dicks."<br /><br />"Yeah, like it's locker-room knowledge," said my source. "I was sort of like 'whatever' when my Filipina friends were talking about how white guys don't wash their dicks and they get dick cheese. And then I heard my Black friends mention it all like 'haha dick cheese,' and then my Mexican friends were all..."<br /><div> </div><div>I go on to find out from my source that when she calls a guy a dick cheese, she's not calling him a dick cheese. </div><div>I've been misinterpreting the saying "Haha dick cheese." </div><br />I always thought it meant <em>Look at that douche bag.</em> <div>It actually means <em>That White guy has a filthy, smagmatic penis.</em></div><br /><br />I felt hella gross when I heard all of this. I'm sure every dude has had first hand experience being 6 years old and seeing what not washing does; but White guys specifically??????<br /><em></em><br />To see if this whole - White guys don't wash their dicks - <em>thing</em> was more of a racial myth than a well earned stereotype, I asked my source "So where does this dick cheese grow?"<br /><br />"I presume everywhere, if you don't wash your dick. Like on the balls in the folds of the sack and..." She replied.<br /><br />So the <em>dick cheese</em> component of the myth, being some misnomer that goes way beyond smegma, proves that men of color don't have some sort of upper hand in dick cleanliness because it's not like they're washing their dicks between showers. They're just telling women of color that White guys don't wash their dicks.<br /><br />White guys, rest assured that washing your dick every time you shower is enough to classify you under "does wash dick." (It's got to be EVERY time you shower though.)es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-38344405272146083492009-11-10T23:55:00.000-08:002009-11-11T00:35:45.387-08:00MonoMy dad gave me a pat on the back for getting Mono. Throughout the whole summer leading up to tenth grade I slept in till 1:pm, napped on picnic tables and played the sick card to avoid getting a summer job.<br /><br />It was fucking awesome.<br /><br />Mom could tell my glans were swollen, but only when I put my ear to my shoulder, could you see the epic baseball size mass sticking out of my neck. I was sort of proud of it.<br /><br />Also, I drank a shit ton of Serge.<br /><br /><br /><img src="http://ericloeffler.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/untitled.jpg" /><br /><br /><br />My dad would bring by a 12 pack of it every other day; a pseudo, medicinal campaign to help me shake the sand man.<br /><br />When the summer started, I was short and fat. By the end of summer I awoke tall with even baggier Jncos.<br /><br />My height is a little bit unprecedented at the family BBQ's, and a little piece of me wants to thank the Surge.<br /><br />Thank you, my fully loaded citrus soda (with Carbos).<br /><br /><br /><br /><object height="265" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/G2_VZ2Guwc4&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/G2_VZ2Guwc4&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="320" height="265"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br />Yes, that's the fat kid from Sandlot.<br /><object height="265" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fOAYoQaOI98&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fOAYoQaOI98&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="320" height="265"></embed></object>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-45100465485658451152009-10-28T20:42:00.000-07:002011-03-21T01:41:56.439-07:00Parking Ticket?<img src="http://img294.imageshack.us/img294/4669/pticket.png" />es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-58216054142591287432009-10-26T17:25:00.000-07:002009-10-26T17:45:39.709-07:00No SurpriseWhen <span style="color:#ff99ff;">my youngest sister's,</span> <a href="http://brokenose.blogspot.com/2009/08/homefront-drama.html#youAnchor"><span style="font-size:130%;">Junkie Boyfriend</span></a> got out of jail, she gave him a key to her new apartment, with a keychain that reads "Welcome Home."<br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/7108/keysi.png" /><br /><br /><br />Now that he's back in Jail, he doesn't need it anymore. Nor does he need any of the other stuff on <a href="http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/9161/keys.png"><span style="font-size:180%;">The Table.</span></a><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span>es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2766089314125258190.post-43900533676643764282009-10-15T21:12:00.000-07:002009-10-15T22:41:08.499-07:00Sausage FestCheck out the CIA world Fact Book.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">USA </span><br /><p><span style="font-size:130%;">Population</span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;">307,212,123</span></p><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Sex ratio:<br /><br />total population: 0.97 male(s)/female (2009 est.)</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Oh sweet, more girls than guys.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">65 years and over: 0.75 male(s)/female</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Oh snap, it's all old women!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">under 15 years: 1.04 male(s)/female</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Life Expectancy</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />Men: 75.64 years.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">That's up! By 3.45 years.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Women: 80.69 years.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">That's up too, but only by like... 9 months.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br />People over the age of 65 make up 12.8% of the population(20.2% under age 15). That means that if everyone was forced to couple up, 248,227 young men would be forced to hook up with whithered old women over the age of 75.<br /><br />And of course, 8.6 Million women would have to wander around with no chance of ever finding a man. (but keep in mind, they're like... hella old.)es138http://www.blogger.com/profile/01713954579170397484noreply@blogger.com0