"Are you googling 'Stupid, Fucking Boyfriend???'"

Thanks to my generous friend Nick, this is me wearing a partially-inflated, Airline, Life Vest.






Ignoring the "OR" in the image below-





This is me OVER INFLATING an Airline Life preserver.






This is the childhood epiphany that your head is fucking stuck in the back of a chair or inside a staircase hand rail.






This is the power of Co2






And this is the death collar from the movie Saw III





So while my girlfriend and I were in a frenzy to figure out how to SAFELY remove the rigid, creaking, ice-cold, time bomb- from around my neck,
This is what I squealed (while on my knees)-

"Are you Googling 'Stupid Fucking Boyfriend???'"



Fail.