Sabotage, Seattle Style
3 years ago
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
No Surprise
When my youngest sister's, Junkie Boyfriend got out of jail, she gave him a key to her new apartment, with a keychain that reads "Welcome Home."
Now that he's back in Jail, he doesn't need it anymore. Nor does he need any of the other stuff on The Table.
Now that he's back in Jail, he doesn't need it anymore. Nor does he need any of the other stuff on The Table.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Sausage Fest
Check out the CIA world Fact Book.
USA
Sex ratio:
total population: 0.97 male(s)/female (2009 est.)
Oh sweet, more girls than guys.
65 years and over: 0.75 male(s)/female
Oh snap, it's all old women!
under 15 years: 1.04 male(s)/female
Life Expectancy
Men: 75.64 years.
That's up! By 3.45 years.
Women: 80.69 years.
That's up too, but only by like... 9 months.
People over the age of 65 make up 12.8% of the population(20.2% under age 15). That means that if everyone was forced to couple up, 248,227 young men would be forced to hook up with whithered old women over the age of 75.
And of course, 8.6 Million women would have to wander around with no chance of ever finding a man. (but keep in mind, they're like... hella old.)
USA
Population
307,212,123
Sex ratio:
total population: 0.97 male(s)/female (2009 est.)
Oh sweet, more girls than guys.
65 years and over: 0.75 male(s)/female
Oh snap, it's all old women!
under 15 years: 1.04 male(s)/female
Life Expectancy
Men: 75.64 years.
That's up! By 3.45 years.
Women: 80.69 years.
That's up too, but only by like... 9 months.
People over the age of 65 make up 12.8% of the population(20.2% under age 15). That means that if everyone was forced to couple up, 248,227 young men would be forced to hook up with whithered old women over the age of 75.
And of course, 8.6 Million women would have to wander around with no chance of ever finding a man. (but keep in mind, they're like... hella old.)
Jail Names
I fully invite you to play around with Arizona's Prison Inmate Database.
You can look an inmate up by their ALIAS!!!
I always thought that a prison Alias was somewhat an honorary title, but the data I've collected is leaning towards the contrary.
First off, if your Alias is something revolving around Money (or Dollaz), it's a 6:7 ratio that you'll have more than one Alias.
However, guys named Killer (et al.) are likely to stick with their Alias, yet only 10% of those guys actually earn the name (as opposed to the 53% of Money guys).
And as far as I'm concerned, out of the many pages of guys called "Monster," these are the only two guys who earned it.
Catfish murdered a wal-mart exec.
And if you've always wondered if you'd be able to fight off a jail rape, then size up the list I've compiled of all the Bubba's currently incarcerated in the State of Arizona.
Based on my intuition, I've delineated the more gentler looking Bubba's to the right hand side.
You can look an inmate up by their ALIAS!!!
I always thought that a prison Alias was somewhat an honorary title, but the data I've collected is leaning towards the contrary.
First off, if your Alias is something revolving around Money (or Dollaz), it's a 6:7 ratio that you'll have more than one Alias.
However, guys named Killer (et al.) are likely to stick with their Alias, yet only 10% of those guys actually earn the name (as opposed to the 53% of Money guys).
And as far as I'm concerned, out of the many pages of guys called "Monster," these are the only two guys who earned it.
Catfish murdered a wal-mart exec.
And if you've always wondered if you'd be able to fight off a jail rape, then size up the list I've compiled of all the Bubba's currently incarcerated in the State of Arizona.
Based on my intuition, I've delineated the more gentler looking Bubba's to the right hand side.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Huff
Here are two of the three==> Homeless people that are burning trash in the fire place!
She's wearing my youngest sister's clothes... "all the way down to the panties."
(it's in quotes because - of course - I had to hear that. I didn't like... know.)
The kid in her lap is pretty much harmless. And, I'll have you know, there's now a rule in place which prohibits his parents from putting their hands over his mouth when he cries.
The third in their little nomadic family
got smashed in the face with a laptop computer.
The bullshitting with the neighbor's turned into Shit Talking and suddenly a bunch of drunk people in their early 20's were brawling in the parking lot.
It was the neighbor's own laptop, which is so fucking stupid, the cops probably didn't believe it (when the whole force showed up on the scene).
It's sort of ingenious when you think about it. If you smash your own, very expensive, laptop over a guys face you could just say "No I didn't," and the cops will arrest the guy you assaulted.
Which is what happened.
Which is why that baby is with his grandma and his parents both went to jail last night.
She's wearing my youngest sister's clothes... "all the way down to the panties."
(it's in quotes because - of course - I had to hear that. I didn't like... know.)
The kid in her lap is pretty much harmless. And, I'll have you know, there's now a rule in place which prohibits his parents from putting their hands over his mouth when he cries.
The third in their little nomadic family
got smashed in the face with a laptop computer.
The bullshitting with the neighbor's turned into Shit Talking and suddenly a bunch of drunk people in their early 20's were brawling in the parking lot.
It was the neighbor's own laptop, which is so fucking stupid, the cops probably didn't believe it (when the whole force showed up on the scene).
It's sort of ingenious when you think about it. If you smash your own, very expensive, laptop over a guys face you could just say "No I didn't," and the cops will arrest the guy you assaulted.
Which is what happened.
Which is why that baby is with his grandma and his parents both went to jail last night.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Ladies Room
I walked into a restroom the other day, looking for a clean stall. One after another, I kept finding nasty things behind each door. If it wasn't murky and in need of a flush, it had toilet paper strewn about, or water on the seat.
I'm not an emergency type of restroom guy. I was restroom phobic in highschool, so I can relate with those who skip lunch because they have to leave work and go home to cure a stomach ache. But these days, I demand that I be able to evacuate whenever, and where-ever I want.
This is one of the reasons why I love (more like appreciate) having a starbucks on every corner.
Anyhow, being that there was no real urgency in my visit to this dirty restroom, I decided I'd wait till after lunch to take a shit.
Upon my exit, I realized I had walked into the women's room. And had it not been so gross, I would have probably taken a shit in there, and encountered some old lady, and been chased out of the restaurant.
I have mixed feelings over this small stroke of luck.
I'm not an emergency type of restroom guy. I was restroom phobic in highschool, so I can relate with those who skip lunch because they have to leave work and go home to cure a stomach ache. But these days, I demand that I be able to evacuate whenever, and where-ever I want.
This is one of the reasons why I love (more like appreciate) having a starbucks on every corner.
Anyhow, being that there was no real urgency in my visit to this dirty restroom, I decided I'd wait till after lunch to take a shit.
Upon my exit, I realized I had walked into the women's room. And had it not been so gross, I would have probably taken a shit in there, and encountered some old lady, and been chased out of the restaurant.
I have mixed feelings over this small stroke of luck.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
