Pop Goes The Ego

Okay fuckers, this is the pic on my dating profile:



Yes, it's from 2007.




The way I roll on internet dating sites is I keep my profile hidden. That keeps my face from being associated with the other douche bags online. If you've never been on a dating site, you should really take note. Girls get TONS of mail from douche bags. Girls don't usually write back to douche bags. A large percentage of douche bags get frustrated and start sending butt hurt emails.


So basically, girls log into dating sites. They find themselves in a sea of douche bags, they read douchey, butt hurt messages which call them "stuck up," and "vapid." Then they click on your profile and go "This guy must also be a douche bag."


Fair enough.


I keep my shit hidden so that doesn't happen to me.


When I see a girl I like, I send a simple " ;) " and that's all.


Sure you can read a girl's profile. Sure, you can write some bullshit to make a girl think you're awesome. But, why waste the effort if they're not gonna write back?


I just send a simple winky-face, and 1 in 8 girls write back.




Here's a girl who responded to my winky-face.


Her name is Siobhan (pronounced: Sheh-Von)






Certainly no divergence between the two pictures. (PFFFFT)


I talk her into going out with me.


She was super hesitant to give me her phone number, but I finally got a text at work:


Girl:

Hey 6 at trudys tonight?

Me:

Yup. :)
Do you get picture text?

Girl:

Yes

Me:

Hi Siobhan!

Grainy but current. :)

Girl:

You dnt look like person in profile

Me:

Never heard that before.

Girl:

Maybe cause its a profile and not head on shot. But from that picture im not interested. Which sounds mean but its true and i dnt wanna have you drive down here for nothing.

Me:

no that's not mean. I was just shooting you the pic so you could see what I was wearing so you'd know me when I walked in. You want a better pic we'll take a couple where I'm smiling. don't fret over a rushed snap shot from the men's room. trust me.

Girl:

Sorry. I wont be showing up tonight

Me:

Jesus.

Me (half hour later):

Don't feel bad. it's perfectly in bounds to be skittish in the context of first dates. :) it's alright if you need to cancel.

Girl:

I need to cancel.

Me:

Yeah, we covered that, lol.

Girl:

Oh okay just making sure aren't making the trip for nothing.

Me:

I meant don't feel bad for cancelling.

Girl:

Alright.

Me (1 hour later):

Girl:

Um...

Me:

Haha
Based on my experience, that writing on the wall is nothing short of true. ;)

Me:

I'm not gonna push the meeting up thing, I'm already home. But ou should poor yourself a glass of wine and we'll chat on the phone. :)

Girl:

Oh really? Okay

Me:

Do you want me to call you now, or wait until 6 as planned?

Girl:

What? Why would you call?

Me:

You just said okay, to the phone proposal. check your texts. ;)

Girl:

I didn't see that msg

Me:

Yeah well how are you feelin' it?

Girl:

I'm not much of a talker... esp on the phone.

Girl:

[silent treatment]

MFWTF?