My youngest sister is an idiot.

Oh Jesus Christ!!!

My mom was worried that my youngest sister was walking into an ambush, when she arranged to drive down to skid row and pick up her "ex" boyfriend's iPhone and house key.

This kid should have been out of the picture ages ago, however my sister can't seem to nut up and deal with the 4 to 6 sad days that follow a breakup.

She was telling me, that evening, how she had waited around for 3 hours while this kid was supposed to be getting his pay check. And after that 3 hour wait, he returned to her car empty handed. Then they got in a fight and she told him to go stay with his dad for the night.
I told her it was more likely that he promptly received his pay check and then took 3 hours to score heroin.

Being that I'm fucking psychic, my mother; with her .357 in her lap, my youngest sister, and I; following from behind in my car as back-up, rolled down to the SODO district to retrieve the iPhone and house key from this kid's dealer, known as Pilgrim; the heroin dealer who lives beneath the west Seattle bridge.

Nothing exciting happened because Pilgrim; the heroin dealer who lives beneath the west Seattle bridge, knows that when one of his customers is in possession of their fussy girlfriend's property, it's best to just deal with her so she'll stfu.

My youngest sister wanted me to commend her, as she kept asking "Are you proud of me? Are you proud of me for breaking up with him?"

"Lets see if it sticks," was all I was willing to reply.

It didn't stick.

So following the news that she asked my other sister to "Not tell dad that [my hep c positive, heroin addict bf] has moved back in, until dad cuts me the rent check for January," I am now buzzing with psychic predictions.

I predict that my sister will be going to jail for possession of heroin.

See, the poor, junky bf got "re-addicted" to heroin on xmas, which is my youngest sister's fault (of course).
He says that he only needs 1 gram of heroin a day to get by. And my sister claims that she can ration him out 1 gram every 4 days and he'll be fine.

You are retarded (or very, very not psychic) if you can't read from this that she'll be driving this kid to score heroin, will be the only heroin buyer with a car (cars have lic. plates btw), and become the heroin dealer(s)' taxi cab who trades rides places for drugs that her boyfriend can shoot into his neck (cuz his arms and feet are blown).

If she avoids jail up to that point, then she'll make all sorts of skid-row friends who will start squatting in her apartment (because now heroin is tolerated there) and she'll take on this ridiculous mother superior roll where she provides clean needles and shampoo, and then gets hustled into allowing heroin sales to take place, because for every bum you see holding a card-board sign, there are 4 to 6 people behind that guy who have (inch by inch) been bled for as much as they could possibly give to keep that bum from having to fill out some sort of application and hold themselves accountable to some sort of social contract.