Christmas 09

House sitting for the holidays is nice when out of town friends don't want to go back to their parents' homes after the bar closes.



Not to knock on people from LA but the only people with balls enough to ingest a live worm were me and my pal, The Cobra.




Following that, I may or may not have burned a hole in the rug where I was house sitting.



Can you see it?



(It's at the bottom center of the pic)





My Mom is famous for giving gifts that disappoint. I've decided that when telling my Mom what I want for x-mas, I get very specific and pretty much delegate to her my resupply of calender stationary.




I don't quite understand why she'd package it in an empty box, twice the size of my gift, though.



Was she hoping that I'd find relief when I opened the mysterious box and not find a stupid ebay gift?

My Mid-West Grandma still seems to recall when that kid stole our christmas money, and now she sends my cards in more secure parcels.



My sister will do anything to get others to agree that my dad is strange.




Toilet paper rolls behind your bedroom door is fucking strange.



I came across them when wrapping gifts at my Dad's house.

I have no idea why he'd be hording used toilet paper rolls. I looked it up and seriously, none of this shit is stuff my dad cares about.

Quirky Family

My Other Sister, the middle of us three kids, has been with her current boyfriend for a few - going on several - years. I'm not sure if marriage is in the cards; based on what my sister's shared with me.

I guess that whenever the topic of marriage comes up, her boyfriend maintains the stance that (for whatever reason) he is not going to marry my sister.

The topic came up recently and the conversation went down the same old path, so my sister, who states she could see herself "getting more and more upset," preemptively kicked her boyfriend out of the bedroom, slamming a locked door in his face.




To which he replied:




(Fuck you door!)

Believe it or not, that was just one kick! However, his foot went through the door and got stuck, so the other 7 sq ft. of door came off when he gracefully withdrew.

I don't know if you can tell... but the door is fucked.
My sister decided that the upper half of the door is door-ey enough to keep up. Unfortunately, it snaps and grinds when they try to open it, so...



They crawl through the hole like people-sized animals.

Impressed

Desert Fire's breakfast is a secret so well kept, it's probably the worst shift for the wait staff to work.

The mimosa's cost One-fucking-Dollar!!!!!

The food was so good I took the left overs to the park.




Seriously, I went home, brought the left overs inside, realized I needed smokes, grabbed the left overs, took them back out to the car, got my smokes, then took the left overs to the park.

I still have yet to eat them.


Update:
I ate them.