A Sunny Saturday

There was a 10 for $10 deal at QFC, so I thought I'd impress the girlfriend by chugging 10 vitamin-waters in the parking lot.

While I gulped through the third bottle, my girlfriend announced that, according to the labels, I had just consumed 60 ounces of panic attack potion.

Anyone who's ever drank 60 ounces of vitamine water might tell you how badly you'll end up having to pee... but if they do tell you that, they're a fucking liar because I shat out the 60 ounces of vitamine water within 20 minutes of drinking it.

I kid you not, I had to flush the toilet 4 times to mask the sound of my continuous crapping because the nerd at the game store didn't seem too excited when he pointed me to the restroom.

After the restroom episode, my gf and I went to get gyros and we took a stroll through the park.

We came across this flyer. We looked at it closely, and then my gf insisted that it was our duty to take this flyer and throw it in the trash.

Transcription below



"BABYSITTIN' SERVICE!!!!

Going out on a Saturday night?
Enjoying a day of relaxation?
Can't enjoy those things cuz' you've gotta watch your child?

Now you can! Dorian [full name] and Taylor [full name] are here to watch your children for a reasonable price!

With both of us at age thirteen and 7th graders we both have experience from babysitting.

We will watch all ages from 1 year olds to 9 year olds. We both have average grades and great attitudes.

We HIGHLY understand the responsibilityand maturity it takes to take care of your child.

You name the price that is resonable for you! (Payment by the hour is recommended)
If you are interested contact us at
[full phone number] (Dorian's phone)
[full phone number] (Taylor's phone)

taylor_[last name]@hotmail.com (Talor's Email)

[graphic: smiley face] Thanks 4 you're time."