Mono

My dad gave me a pat on the back for getting Mono. Throughout the whole summer leading up to tenth grade I slept in till 1:pm, napped on picnic tables and played the sick card to avoid getting a summer job.

It was fucking awesome.

Mom could tell my glans were swollen, but only when I put my ear to my shoulder, could you see the epic baseball size mass sticking out of my neck. I was sort of proud of it.

Also, I drank a shit ton of Serge.





My dad would bring by a 12 pack of it every other day; a pseudo, medicinal campaign to help me shake the sand man.

When the summer started, I was short and fat. By the end of summer I awoke tall with even baggier Jncos.

My height is a little bit unprecedented at the family BBQ's, and a little piece of me wants to thank the Surge.

Thank you, my fully loaded citrus soda (with Carbos).







Yes, that's the fat kid from Sandlot.