Three Hots and a Cot

This guy knew exactly what he was doing.



Some people are so poor they demean themselves for a warm place to stay.

Robin Williams

I had privelage of seeing Robin Williams perform live last week.


In a theatre setting I try and arive early to stake my claim on the airspace I take up as that tall fuck infront of you. I recall how much it sucks when some ogre sits infront of you at a show. This flannel wearing grizzley bear sat infront of me at the nut cracker when I was a kid. He also put one arm around his mom and one arm around his wife to chillax through the whole ballet. Recounting this to my fifth grade teacher, she laughed in my face when I whined "And he didn't even get dressed up!"

So when you arrive at the theatre and find that I am sitting up as tall as I can in the seat infront of yours, hopefully you'll sigh and deal with it.
But when I show up and model my poorly fitting jeans for you as my big boy ass roots itself in blocking your view- once we've made eyecontact it makes it a little more difficult for me to take joy in obliviously ruining your night.
To add insult to injury, when a tall guy takes the seat infront of you, he probably got free tickets and is not that interested in being there.

My free tickets for Robin Williams had me seated in the nonexistent seat reserved for wheelchairs. So just as the folks behind me were thinking "sweet, we've got legroom in lieu of absent tards," I showed up and the usher brought me a highrise chair. (fuck)

Slouching for the benefit of the community my lumbar was screaming throughout the show. And being that my chair wasn't a deep set theater seat, I had virtually no leg room, so my knees were in different time zones making me look like a drunken douce bag at a bachelor party. Unable to lean forward for back relief, I started taking fake bathroom breaks, childishly wasting time doing everything short of flushing all the toilets in the men's room.
Each time I'd return to my chair I'd notice that laughter was ringing out through the crowd but I absolutely could not see anyone around me laughing.

Did I mention that Robin Williams is not fucking funny?

History

This Guy




Wrote This




High as fuck on Cocaine.





His wife and step-son recall him bouncing into the room reading his work unsolicited and then dashing off to write more.

Reminds me of a roommate I had in college.