Celebrity Influence

Wow, I some how managed to miss Michael Jackson's Earth Song, back in the day.

But my girlfriend caught me up on it and now I'm sorta pissed off.

I'm suddenly, again, outraged that Oprah is retiring.

I can't say that this oil spill hasn't gotten a lot of media attention, but does anyone feel like there's something not happening which used to happen with shit like this?

Does anyone feel like "more should be done," but you can't place your finger on it?

That's because Michael Jackson used to have our backs and he'd sound the alarm and there'd be a huge production and shit would get -or at least feel- better.

What do we have instead? Kevin fucking Costner!

Oprah! You can't just take your money and turn your backs on us.

Idea for the Gulf Coast Oil Spill

People with names like Kenneth Montana belong to commissions dealing with tourism around the Gulf Coast. They're shitting their pants right now because the Deep Horizon Oil Spill is going to decimate the tourism sector in that region.

Someone should tell someone to tell something like FEMA to raise an army of volunteers across the nation, fund their transport, set up some tents and have a huge beach party/ relief effort where patriots and burners can go make and spend a little money in these twilight tourist communities.

Put me in charge and I'll work out the details, but for the time being, here's what I've whipped up.









We pay Mexico between $74 and $84 per barrel of crude.

Each volunteer should get paid $70 (tax free) for each salvaged barrel of crude, and BP should cut the checks. They have to clean it up anyway, and if the shit is out their too long, it'll end up worthless, so we might as well get to work scooping it up.

I know that scooping oil into a barrel might only yield $140 a day, but I'm sure that after 2 days, the weekend ruff necks will be improvising better, faster methods of filling those barrels. Plus, free FEMA accommodations and $140 a day is way better than being hella unemployed. Think of it as fishing only every time you cast, you catch something.

Seriously though, why not?

This picture is losing it's momentum.